My 20th Birthday

Had a great birthday with some great friends! My dad made me the most magical love filled birthday crown and sent it to me to wear.

Here I am

She thinks of him indecisively

Does he do this because of this or because of this? She can't decide

Neither can she decide why she does what she does or why she'll do what she'll do.


INDECISION IS THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF DIABETES
And she loves sugar.

She feels frustrated

Sitting alone in the bathroom, trapped by accompanying identities and unbearably lonely,

She picks at her bodies blemishes.

She sits alone crunching carrots and contimplating her desirability

She had just seen him and he was wonderful
What is he thinking? she silently demands

She slips off her jacket revealing her naked shoulders uncovered by her notice-me-strapless dress

Did he notice?

Enters another man, or should she say boy?
He is shorter and more and less like herself
She doesn't know who's hands to jump in
PLUS she is almost out of carrots

CRUNCH CRUNCH

And OH! Yet another one, standing on the opposite corner with a flame for a head.
She wonders, is it hot under there?
Would he like her to get a wet paper towel?

Narative

Riding the train, she observes her crowded companions

This man's arm, reaching for a grip, is so placed that if she were to lean forward, just slightly, the two would be found in an intimate embrace.

That man's face, so nonchalantly close, so everyday riding the train close, so openly close, that Emily longs to reach out and touch it. Make contact with that which is so foreignly intimate.

Who are you? She silently asks,
Why can't I know you?
Would you like to know me?
Do you wonder at who I am ?

Afraid that her fellow riders might guess her thoughts, Emily embraces instead, her warm sugary 7/11 drink.

Another day on the train, she thinks, so much time waisted.

Feeling Lazy

Hope I won't sit here forever

I, I, I, I, I inquire, She. They. You. must be better then me.

But I'm not trying so who can judge.

I will be going. I will; Will we? They have all gone

So, oh well lets just take a walk through romanticism, compassion, admiration

And say, through your silver screen, you say in just the right way that I say just the right things.

But no one is telling me anything and the room just gets colder every time I look around myself.

Oh well, I repeat, there is a window and I don't know anything at all anyways

This is Ashley, Ashy, Ash......our new roommate! Coming down from the wild north to live with us in our forward thinking, yet slightly blown behind, ( cause lets admit, its pretty windy here) City. Shes a good one

Dress up

My sweet sweet Sarah, still not too old to play dress up.

Everything is new feeling to me right now. I just want to take chances. This is the year of chances. The year of deciding to do something and just doing it. How lovely to walk were you want and see how your step changes. New new new. Novi.

This is good

Living conditions

Separation the threes, no not really, two thirds and one

two lonely ones,

Three lonely ones,

Inside you, there it was, that character, one lonely girl.

Anticipate, inside to outside, I know its hard...Its hard

I'll try with frying pans, couch warming movies, girl, Iam a girl too.

Sarah and I got a new apartment that we will be moving into may first. Check it out

I will be traveling out west to ski with sis Carrie Poe so if you don't see me I'm probably doing some leg exercises......

Will you wont you will you wont you

Huh, I havent really done anyhing in the past three days. Absolutley nothing.

I am feeling suppressed. Really? No....just lazy.

Went out with John and Linny last night.
Great people

Feeling like kids again......sweet sweet sweetnesses

My thoughts have been distant lately

Good Evening Lonesome,

I dont really know you. I am pretty sure you dont really know me.

I love familiarness. I miss being sure of things. I am so very unsure and upset somtimes.

I want to be close to the things around me. I want to be important to somone.

I miss you,

Emily Erin Moon Williams

Lately

when I see something pretty I plan how I can steal it

I was just looking through pictures from Croatia and feeling nostalgic. This picture is of me on my second neighborhood walking route. I would walk past those yellow overhanging bushes everyday and feel a little more basic and happy. Listening to music and getting outside of myself.

Its raining

Listening to books on tape in the room that smells like tomatoe soup,

Ive started knitting again and god knows what will happen next.

I never want to do what I should be doing.

Next to me was a women of what i would guess to be eighty bent over a bag of flowers with a cigarette continuously making trips to her sagging mouth. A girl standing next to the road was wearing these jeans that had some kind of brown embroidery on cuff that, to me, made it look like she had just jumped in a puddle of awful.

SOmetimes I really dont like myself.

My biggest little pleasure

Everyday I have a competition with the little walk light man. I win if I can cross the street before he turns green. This game gives me so much satisfaction if I win, and frustration if I loose, that the outcome can completely alter my day.

My saving grace

Dancing with the lights off in my room. My i pod is playing "You are the light" by Jens Lekman . The window is open and I feel so happy.

Like bursting

Hmmmm......a new blog. I think the only reason I made this was to kill time waiting for the wash.

Emily