My Voice lesson went so well today

I've been making big decisions lately. Uh Oh

Lately

Blah Blah Blah

I really don't like this stuff, do I?

My father sails boats

the way we were

I walked with dancers in my eyes and trumpets in my belly.
thinly sheltered by my skin
an energy that both seperated and connected me
you might have understood but I assumed you didn't .
I rubbed this assumption into my skin.
Its was an enjoyably irritation
a cozy despair
I rubbed away at my skin and then I said to myself, look how it turns red. look.

Andy took this

some of these words smell good some of them don't

Lay that here, I lat that there
It's wieght and health and breath
The word that falls in you deep well
will float with me below it
It's a story, It's a sadness
lets wait, anticipate progress
Sensation sweet, your arms will meet
I just can't help this dress
Press its sleeve, the fold will leave
if you tell me more than twice
Smell is strong, my legs are long
I'll follow you to move

Gold Crowns

its all about a little humiliation and the choice to do better next time

Its raining out

Hmmmm, I have been moving slowly lately.
The world feels like the inside of my Grandma's Gazebo. I am walking through musty time with carefully placed moments, smelling like imagination and used beach towels.
I decorate the walls but don't look out the windows.

I drive a rolls royce cause its good for my voice

We three are going to be having a house warming party on Saturday the 26th
We love to dance and show off our decorating talents, stop by and feel good.
call me if you need directions, em

parting note,
I need new music.

Lots of Laundry at work today

sitting in the room where things are kept quiet with noise, Emily smells somthing funny

Frog and Toad down by the bay

We love to sit and sip and see

MY DAY

I woke up this morning and stayed in bed an hour to finnish the book I was too tired to finnish last night, After I was done I lingered in my bed a while, I had recently bought new sheets and just put them on last night without washing them first and was enjoying the new plasticky smell of them. I tried unpacking those last two boxes that I've been putting off for a month but when i found the scarf I had been missing inside one of them, I got distracted and started playing around. Then I decided that I wanted to meet people right then, so I put on all my rings, which felt wonderfully strange because I haven't worn them in forever, and I went to this coffee shop around the corner that I hadn't been to yet because its cash only and I barely ever have cash. As soon as i walked in though I realized that a coffee shop is the worst place to try and meet new people, everyone was independently absorbed in there own things. But I always feel awkward going into a place without getting something so I got some ice cream because to be honest I don't really drink coffee. I sat in the corner eating my ice cream and watching the people around me who weren't really there, people in their books, magazines, work, phone calls. I was entertained but I didn't connect to my surroundings like I wanted to. So I decided to just do my usual city talking and go junking. Its a great week for Junking because everyone just moved or they are in the process of moving so there's tones of interesting things to be found in the alleys. I walked around a lot, it was really sunny and all my rings were shining and hot, I loved that. I found some really great pieces of chair that are exactly what I was looking for for a new project I'm thinking about. eventually I found myself back at home and eating lunch. It's kind of my day off today and sometimes I don't really know what to do with myself on days like these when i can't really get into a project or there isn't someone to go and find. a little later ash came home and we hugged and she agreed that the smell of my sheets was pleasant. But she had to go right away to meet mallory for BLTs so I just snuggled back into the newness of my bed and got to know my sheets a little better. When I woke up I still had an hour before I had to take the bus to get up to Andersonville to babysit so I decided to try and find Lakeview art supply so that I could get some of the stuff I want for the chair thing. But after asking at least five people if they knew where it was I found out it was a little too west to be going and getting back to the bus on time so instead I went into one of my favorite used book stores and tried to find something with character. don't you feel that? that used book stores are just filled with hundreds of dusty old characters? I looked around for a long time and finally settled on a book that I think I already have but i just really loved the feel of this copy. Anyways then I got on the bus and now I am here, the kids are asleep and I am using their computer because we don't have internet. I think i wrote all this down because today was a day that I was really inside my head you know? and all day I just had kind of this narrator track going on like a two minute delay reciting all that I had done, I just had to get it out of there you know?

see ya

me and the smaller one

Travels

Ash and I are heading home tomorrow. We will be in ER until Wednesday, see you there!

Oh you know, I got a hair cut

Location location Location

For My Mother,

Pictures of my New Place

see sea

I am looking to find things lately if you know what I mean. Dizzy from the sugar, I am really looking about myself. It's easier to know the full value of the red of your t-shirt that way. I can see all the light in it, you know?

Some naratives I've neglected

Pressing her body to the cool west facing wall of her bedroom

Emily seeks reaction

If only there was someone to push back.

Atop a row of comfortably similar condos

She rolls from one roof to the next
taking great pleasure in the gritty scrapes the sun soaked shingles leave on her body

with each slump and roll
she thinks,
To feel is to love.

She feels her anticipation in warm sacks of fluid pressing just under her skin.

Two small sacks under her cheeks
One pressing under her forehead
and one large swelling and sloshing sack floating in her stomach

This feeling is warm and might be pleasant it it weren't for susceptibility to sea sickness.

Walking the campus, liquidly heavy, Emily doesn't know what to do.